I know I am not alone in this. As mothers we are so quick to give everything we have to our children right from the start. The moment I knew for sure that I was pregnant with me first, everything changed. I knew that I wanted to be there for this little being I hadn’t even met yet. I knew that I couldn’t be held to the same standard in my career while simultaneously being the supermom I wanted to be. The passion I had for the animals in my care drove me to give my all, sometimes blood, definitely sweat and too many tears. I loved my job and my co-workers but the compassion fatigue that came along with it would be too much.

So I started planning right then that I would quit my job and stay home with my kids. Once they head into school I will open my own conservation center to get back to my passion. But having this perfect plan did not prepare me for what becoming a mother would truly entail. I had no clue of how hard the journey would be.

I loved every minute of being a new mom! It was far from perfect but I couldn’t imagine having it any otherway. Except, I completely lost my previous identity. I had no idea who I was other then a mother. I was no longer the quirky zookeeper full of interesting stories, I didn't have my village of support within driving distance, I had no time or energy to go out. Who was I?

Then there were two. We wanted to have two kids close together so that they could grow up together, you know, be best friends, have eachs other backs. Well, as life has its own plans, they were very very close. Suddenly, I had a newborn and a 13 month old. And the lack of sleep, the fact that I’d moved away from family all started to sink in. I felt alone. I was just so exhausted.

From the outside looking in, the kids were flourishing and although chaotic it seemed normal. I didn't want to burden friends or family with my postpartum depression. It was the hardest time of my relationship ever, and we’d been together 15 years at that point. My husband was suddenly solely supporting our family of 4 for the first time ever and feeling his own stress to live up to the high standarad he'd created for himself. (Before kids, my job was the secure one as he is a professional poker player). And up to this point in our relationship we had been both been able to support each out through any mental health bout. But this time we had our hands full and our bodies went into survival mode.

I had gathered a wonderful group of other mamas, that comprised mostly of freshly moved families to support each other. But still I didn't lean on them fully, as I didn’t want to burden them. Planning park dates and other outings kept me sane and gave me a mission to pull it together for. They have no idea how vital they were in my life at that time! As my babies became toddlers and now a pre-schooler and a kindie, they thrive while I am at my most unhealthy of my entire life. I did not find the energy or motivation to practice self care. For the last few years I have been trying to change that. I felt like I was failing all the time, why couldn't I be SUPERMOM. I dove into this ideal I had created around being a supermom and wrote a book about the chaos of motherhood to help myself and others learn self-love and healing for ourselves. I have been on a mindful journey to work on my mental health and am proud of my growth. But it just hasn’t been enough for my physical health.

I knew I needed help but I had no idea where to start. The only advice from my doctor was to start on anxiety meds with loads of side effects. And he said we may need to play around with a few to figure out which ones would help me. I wante to feel normal again, but I didn’t want to put my mind and body through weaning off each one as tried to find another. I had already turned that down with my narcolepsy diagnosis. So I decided I could just deal with my anxiety on my own. But rather then truly dealing with it, I just ignored the symptoms until my body screamed ENOUGH. That forced me to stop and listen with physical issues, like alopecia, stress hives and panic attacks. So I knew it was time to actually deal with it by treating the root cause naturally.

Research mode started again. I found lots of people and products claiming that they could help heal at the root. But there was no science around how they worked or how they are going to actually help. There was no value or tangible help. It was great to know I wasn't alone but I didn't learn much else from them.

For a long time I have known the value of a good supplement on your physical health and had been on premium vitamins for 15+ years. Shockingly, I had never considered that supplements would be the help I needed for my mental health. But now I can't shout it loud enough how healing my mental health is healing my physical health. It's the missing link.

All I can tell you is this: If you feel hopeless, it is possible. It's my truth. Sometimes you notice results right away and sometimes it takes time. This is why you need to start this journey and focus on the small changes you feel because if you pay attention you will notice them. The big changes might take some time.

When I stumbled onto the mental wellness company, I was not looking for them. But I could no longer ignore how their supplements help with gut health, mental health, balancing hormones, reducing inflammation, improving focus, increasing energy and happiness. All this eliminating anxiousness, and promoting stress resilience.

For so long, I had only focused on eating right, exercising and nutritional supplements. I sought the help of nutritionists, personal trainers and coaches on top of my doctor. I have tried countless natural weight loss products, purchased meal plans, spent hours researching weight-loss. And while I would see some improvement, start to get some great results, they would halt or go backwards. I would spiral, the more I stressed over my health and what I put into my body, the less sleep I got and the less amount of sleep made me stress more. I knew how important lowering your cortisol levels were for loosing weight but I couldn’t get them low enough with diet, and exercise alone. I lost hope that I would never reach my physical health goals.

I was feeling so anxiousness, irritable with my kids & partner, trouble sleeping and waking up at 3am, brain fog, overstimulated, severely fatigued and gaining weight in mid section. I was ready to try anything, or almost anything.

With being a supplement snob, it was important to me that they had no side effects, contained no toxins, no chemicals, no artificial flavors or sweeteners, was gluten free, and was of top notch quality. The further I dove into the science of these products the brighter the light bulb was as to why I wasn’t getting the results. I have struggled for so long to get healthy and was so defeated feeling like there was something wrong with me. I finally understood that it wasn’t ME, I was being held backbeing stuck in fight or fight mode.

Cortisol is there to help your body cope during a stressful situation. When we deal with stress, cortisol will pump out into the blood. But the big problem that most women face, is we aren’t suppose to live in a place of chronic stress. The mental load of being a mom alone, then adding on being a default parent and the rest of life can keep you stuck in chronic stress. But our bodies are not designed to live in that state. The long term output of cortisol can wreak havoc on the nervous system. And it becomes one domino effect after another effecting your sleep, mood, blood sugar, and energy. It’s why you feel the way you feel. It’s your body sending warning signs to take care of your mental health and strengthen your stress resilience. If you can calm your nervous system down and balance your cortisol, you will find yourself in a place of stress resilience and your symptoms will go away one by one.

And that’s what my supplement protocol is all about. Helping your body feel calm, stress free, yet motivated and happy. Medication won’t heal a wrecked nervous system. Within three weeks of taking the happy juice protocol along with the mood supplement, I started to notice a difference. By the two month mark, all the issues I mentioned above were far less or gone. The over-anxiousness and over stimulation stopped, I have more energy, I am sleeping better, my kids noticed I’m calmer and less triggered, and I even lost weight. Give it another month or two and I won’t see any of those symptoms!

This fueled my fire to want to share this with as many people as I could.

So I partnered with the mental wellness company as an affiliate and now I help people get their lives back by sharing these supplements. I started sharing my story as well as what I have learnt about mental wellness and mindfullnes on social media because I knew that there would be people struggling with the VERY SAME thing and feeling overwhelmed.

I love that this happy juice protocol is simple, clean, effective, and delicious!

I am finding me again and I like the person she is becoming!